But you only get one, as do your kids, and staying through such a mess could easily be a worse idea and outcome for all innocent parties involved than leaving a toxic environment would be. People know us and in a twisted way I appreciate that she's made both our reputations a 100% priority, of course hers mattering 5x as much as mine I suppose. She's not dating him anywhere else because someone would 100% eventually see them together. If she decides she prefers women to men then this could have been an under-lying problem long before you met her. From what I've read; she cheated and won't admit it, you two want to stay together for the sake of the children, you don't want her to continue cheating but she's hinted that she will continue to do so, your solution is to limit her time away from you so you can be sure she isn't cheating.
If you suspect that your husband isn't telling you the whole truth, then be honest with him and tell him that you're tempted to go seeking answers from the other woman but you would much rather get this from him. It will just make you angry and it won't make the past any easier to deal with. The only 'fact' that you need to consider is that for some reason your wife felt an attraction to another man and on some level acted upon it - even if it was only emotionlly. She had tried approaching this woman, writing this woman, and confronting this woman. Many women love the attention they get from other men and some women will follow through sexually and others won't. I would damn sure want to know if a woman had been telling somone I had raped her. Then tell her you understand her explanation, you still care about her, and accept what she did.
We both acknowledge and have known for a while that we're not meeting each others needs. What kind of life would I be giving to my two children and what would anyone actually gain by my confession? Tell her it has to stop and then suggest going through counseling, together and separate. I have been to lots of marriage guidance and councelling myself and have not found it to work very well and one party always is more interested in it than the other party that has been dragged there but if he wants to save his marriage then he is going to have to put the effort in and go. This will be up to you, either you want to forgive him and he might do it again, or move on without him in your life. Things were going good good I guess meaning we weren't fighting and then this happened. A lot of what he could do is use all her passwords to look up the same stuff I already looked up I work in computers. Take time to understand your motivations for seeking extramarital companionship and then share what you've learned with your spouse.
Tough situation - either divorce or realize you are married companions and not married lovers. He kept insisting that she was the one that wanted something more from him. Or worse, would your partner want to end the relationship? Keep your mouth shut if you love your partner, and it was only a one time thing. I love my partner, but now things have changed which will never be the same. I don't believe reconciliation is on the table right now, based on today's conversation.
Second, which is more common, is that he admits it as a way of humoring you, with that comes the shifting of blame, as he still does not process how he could be liable for his actions. I would have never believed he would have cheated on me, but I now know most men just can't seem to control themselves. Only from their answer will you know whethe … r you should stay with this person or leave. I won't show her the proof to tip my hand and let her cover up tracks past and future , I tell her I'll save that for a lawyer if it comes to it. Their father and I would be miserable, we would be separated. You getting along well was based on her having a lover, keeping you in the dark, and refusing to admit the truth when confronted.
But in the end if you can't talk to your mate about fantasy or outside relationship sex as a release. Try telling your spouse that you have something important that you want to discuss and ask when he or she would like to talk. On the other hand he or she may consider giving you another chance and decide to remain together, but only if there are certain fresh ground rules in the marriage. This happened over a year ago and we have been divorced for five, but all along she keeps saying she wants us back the way we were. I've always had the perspective to know what I should do. He will instinctively call you crazy, stupid, insecure, childish and a psycho. Here no matter the reason you go to court for divorce it's a no fault.
I loved that man so completely and so wholelly, but I know that with such knowledge I will never feel as deeply in love with him again. Then words to express to cause unfaithfulness to a third partner woman to cheat with , like— lying, pretending, flirtatious words, flirting, texting, email, etc… Then the action…planning, lying again, pretending more, kissing, sex. Well enough about me obviously I did not leave. Although this suggestion is an option, it's not a bridge we're crossing yet. Offer some excuse as to why you can understand what they did. And here I thought I was the only idiot who continues to live with a person who knows I actually saw.
I recently received a question from a woman who was struggling to pick herself and her marriage back up after her husband cheated. I thought that was a pretty manipulative thing to say. So, my mother was always cheating on my father and taking me along many times. You deserve to give as good as you get. I though he would change and he has not. I'd like to see if she's willing to delete contact when I call her out on it - partly because she doesn't know how I'm tracking her and also the way I'm tracking her is basically foolproof because we have 2 kids.