Witty puns and one liners. Jokes, Puns and One 2018-09-30

Witty puns and one liners Rating: 5,3/10 1875 reviews

100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive one

witty puns and one liners

The ghost of Christmas passed! It goes from 0-60 in a minute. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Doctor: I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Sad to see a local sauna business close. Dog farts will make you take cover, the smell lingers and starts to hover. Photo: Shutterstock What do snowmen eat for lunch? Because it saw the salad dressing! He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.


Next

Top 30 Christmas One Liners

witty puns and one liners

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? What do snowmen have for breakfast? Money just seems to disappear into thin air. What do sheep say at Christmas? She just gets really far behind in her laundry. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. In democracy your vote counts. When he managed to recover his breath… the man, who became an instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond…. He brought his master to solve this matter. .

Next

Short Jokes

witty puns and one liners

What did Santa say to the smoker? Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on or liking us on. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Have you been fooling around behind my back? Your wife will always blow your bonus! Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. What do the elves cook with in the kitchen? In feudalism, your count votes. What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap? They're not tall enough to be pilots. They were unable to air a pilot! Why didn't the turkey cross the road? What carol is heard in the desert? Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them….

Next

Short Jokes

witty puns and one liners

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. It seemed very important to him that I have it. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? Had to give up on my plan to set up a business making work surfaces for shops. In case he gets a hole in one! All of them told him to answer. Until they start stepping on Legos approximately three years later.

Next

Clean One Liner Puns

witty puns and one liners

For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge… then suddenly a man jumped in…and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs…and luckily he made it unscathed. They always talked on the phone. That means i talk down to people. If you like these Friday jokes, have a look for an alphabetical list of joke topics. Then I ran over him and backed up to run into him again.

Next

Top 30 Christmas One Liners

witty puns and one liners

Strangely, the illness affects females more seriously than males'. As always, here are some Friday jokes, puns and one liners, that are not necessarily particularly original, or terrifically funny, but they may raise the occasional smile or groan… Sad that the local archery business had to close. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts. The problem concerns the Ringo beatle which infests tree bark and may escape and attack people's skin and lay eggs in their hair. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? I think it gets back to the first time I told my mom I loved her. Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk.

Next

Top 30 Christmas One Liners

witty puns and one liners

Why does Santa go down the chimney? Short Funny Jokes About Working ~ Job Jokes - Pride, commitment, teamwork; Words we use to get you to work for free. Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? Farts can smell and usually bad, must be a duck, says your dad. It's the most fun you can have without whipped cream. He wanted to transcend dental medication. Really Funny One Line Jokes about Lawyers ~ Funny Lawyer Jokes - Since a lawyer joined our nudist colony, he hasn't had a suit. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. Question Jokes - How do I set a laser printer to stun? Because those men already have boyfriends.

Next

Clean One Liner Puns

witty puns and one liners

What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? I just have to go in and pick up my check. Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Where are all these extra single socks coming from? What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks? One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Losing a wife can be very tough. What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? Patient: What do you mean, 10? Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. Because he had no body to go with! All it was doing was collecting dust! Their balls are just for decoration.

Next